Baby Talk
by Victoria.Rae
Summary: A two-part story. The bots see human baby pictures for the first time! Could their friends have ever actually been so small? The whole thing gets Ratchet curious about how something so delicate is made.


"_Bee, knock it off. Human cars don't wiggle," _Bulkhead warned over the commlink. Parked behind the scout, he watched as Bumblebee struggled to keep still.

"_Sorry! I'm just so excited to see Raf!"_

"_He's only been gone one weekend," _Arcee chuckled inwardly.

"_I know! It's been awful,"_ Bumblebee whined.

High schoolers poured out the front doors at the sound of the final bell. Their charges came down the steps together, talking excitedly. "Bee!" Raf exclaimed as he shut the door behind him. Bumblebee chirped back excitedly. The two talked and caught up the entire way back to the base.

Ratchet turned around as the three bots pulled in. Bumblebee was beeping continuously, even as he transformed, "_please, please, please, ple_-"

"Okay, okay, Bee, I can show you now!" Raf laughed and pulled out his phone. He held it out for Bumblebee to see as the bot knelt before him. His optics widened and he whirred in wonder.

"Aww, cute!" Miko cooed teasingly as she watched the two of them.

Jack shook his head. "As if you didn't squeal when you saw her."

"That's right, I did. I own my embarrassing moments," Miko puffed out her chest in pride.

"What are you getting on about now?" Ratchet huffed, unable to ignore the distraction. With an approving nod from Raf, Bumblebee gingerly took the phone and stood to his full height. Ratchet leaned in to get a better look at the tiny screen presented to him.

It was a photo of Raf. The small boy grinned up at the camera from his seat, a bundle of blankets in his arms. From the blankets protruded two chubby, grasping hands and a soft, round face. It was quite possibly the absolute _tiniest _human Ratchet had ever seen. "A sparkling?" he raised an optic bridge. While his knowledge of human anatomy was lacking, Ratchet was fairly sure Raf was too young to reproduce...probably.

"A what now?" Miko asked. Ratchet realized all eyes were on him now and sighed.

"You know, a newly created life-form."

"You mean a baby?" Jack didn't try very hard to hide his chuckle.

"If that's what you call a human sparkling, then yes." the medic huffed. "Where did you find it, Raphael?"

The youngest boy giggled, "My older brother and his wife just had their first baby. That's why I was gone all weekend, we went and saw them at the hospital."

"Yeah, Raf's an uncle now!" Miko cheered.

"Because my family wasn't big enough already," Raf joked, "but at least they moved out. It gives me a little more wiggle room."

"A human sparkling? Oh, oh, let me see!" Bulkhead grinned. Bumblebee looked hesitantly between the tiny phone and the Wreaker's massive digits and whistled hesitantly.

"I got it!" Miko cried, rushing forward to grab the phone from Bee as he tried to hand it back to Raf. She hopped into Bulkhead's waiting palm, holding out the screen to him as he lifted her toward his face. Arcee leaned in curiously to see as well.

"Isn't she precious?" Miko cooed.

Arcee looked between the photo and Rafael a few times. "She's so… small"

"Well yeah," Jack smiled, "She's a baby. All of us were tiny like that once."

"Yeah!" Miko closed Raf's phone and started swiping through her own, holding it out to the Bots once she settled on an image, "See? Here's one of my baby pictures. I think I was about one."

Bumblebee scooted up to his friends to see. Sparkling- er, baby- Miko was small and pudgy. She laid in a frilly pink dress, her back resting against a crescent-shaped pillow. A little white bow was clipped in her short, black hair. She stared up at the camera with wide, hazel eyes, drool dripping from her all-too-familiar grin.

"This was _you_?" Bulkhead marveled, counting quickly in his head. It had only been 14 short earth-years since this photo. Bumblebee turned to Raf, trilling inquisitively and returning his phone to him.

The younger boy blushed, "I dunno if I have any photos of me as a baby, Bee. I could check my computer files, I guess." The scout cheered, and Rafael slummed in front of his laptop in defeat.

"Heh, you were pretty cute, Miko," Jack she turned the phone for him to see, "What happened?"

"Oh haha, very funny. I always have been, and always will be, fiendishly adorable." she preened.

"You humans sure change fast," Bulkhead marveled, his processor still struggling with the numbers.

"Yeah," She laughed, "and you guys think we're small and squishy _now_. Babies are like little human gushers."

"_Eww, _Miko, what the fu-"

"Found one," Raf called out, interrupting Jack's disgust. "A baby picture of me, I mean," he added meekly when all eyes (and optics) turned to him. Cheeks still red, he turned his computer screen to face the curious group.

In the photo, Raf stood gripping onto the edge of a chair as if for dear life, his entire focus locked on remaining upright. Little brown curls framed his face and his dark eyes looked on from behind blue, circular glasses that hooked behind his ears.

Bumblebee was wiggling with excitement again.

While the bots stared at the photo in awe, Miko locked her gaze onto Jack. "Ohh, no," He took a step back, instantly sensing danger. "Don't even try it. I know for a fact there's no baby pics on my phone."

"Mmm? Nothing?" Miko eyed her prey, debating whether to believe him or steal his phone for herself.

"Not a single one. And even if I did I wouldn't let you see it."

"Why not?"

Jack turned his attention to Arcee when she spoke. She was frowning at him, trying to look hurt. "It's just, ugh.. It's embarrassing, ya' know?"

"Yeah but that's not _fair_," Miko whined. "What's the big deal? Were you ugly or something?" Raf hid a chuckle behind his hands.

"No! But it doesn't matter, cause I don't have anything to show you, anyway. So drop it." With that, the base returned to normal. The Autobots dispersed to their duties, the boys to their homework, and Miko to the phone she stole off Jack.


End file.
